Monday, September 28, 2015

A**Hole N*******s (read the blog for the word, don't hate and DON'T ASSume!)

I know the title was probably misread, it's A**Hole Neighbors for those of you wondering if I'm just another racist in the world spewing his hate. Well, sad to tell you, I'm not. I'm the most tolerable person in the world and keep a lot of my opinions to myself (I'm lying here). My opinions matter and when it comes to my next door neighbors I'm not hesitant to tell you that they are the biggest assholes ever, okay, there are neighbors that display much worse character than my neighbors, but just to vent I like to be slightly melodramatic. 

My neighbor's are very melodramatic, there's that word again. They have been from day one that we moved in. They've never controlled what their kids have done, never set rules down, and have always tried to one up anything we've had going on in our own backyard, quite literally. We moved into the house in the spring and with that we were situating all of our yard decor. Part of that decor was a yard swing that my dad had built. We cherish heirlooms and are all sentimental about keeping things that someone spent a lot of hours and some money to build and were proud of our swing. Did we go out to the swing and talk to it? No. Did we invite several of our friends or family members to come over and look at said swing? Hell NO. But a week later, we hear our neighbors swearing at a swing in the back of their pick up truck and finally positioning it in the corner of their yard. We then proceed to hear traffic pulling up to their house and a party around the yard swing ensued. "Do you see our swing?" "Do you like our swing?" It went on and on for at least an hour or until their house guests left the yard because they were sick of seeing the swing.

After several years and incidents, they bought an older trailer because we came into the neighborhood with one, we bought another, bigger travel trailer and then they upgraded. We put up fences to keep their out of control children out of the yard. The man-Dad of their house called me an asshole, and I pointed my finger at his face and walked up to him calling him the same. Our relationship has since been quiet and non-confrontational. Anyone who tries to run their mouth to my big ass, has some big balls, even though I'm the gentlest of giants, at least that's what's been said, I'm an intimidating creature of stature. My neighbors are assholes because they never set rules for their children and below I will list what happens to those children when they become adults.


  1. When left unattended, children who don't follow rules, discover how to have sex in the house.
  2. Children who don't follow rules, talk back and swear at their parents out of disrespect.
  3. Children who don't follow rules, who become adults, learn a lot from their parent's and that is how to be more respectful to the neighbor's who raised their children to learn respect and what rules are.
  4. Children who have never been accountable or refuse accountability turn out to be, well, I better not finish that line.
My neighbors are assholes, yes, but I will say through the years, the neighbors being assholes has paid off. They can now say that they are the youngest grandparents on the block. They can also say that when their twenty something year old gets pissed off, he calls the man of the household, the DAD of the household, an asshole. And I will say that as adults the two children who have grown up have learned that life is hard when you've never been made to follow rules, and the only lesson ever learned was how to respect adults, because in the real world, in the daily grind you need to know respect in order to survive. One thing did come out of asshole-ism from next door, and it was the fact that I'm finally, after umpteen years in this house, respected by the adult children of the household, thank you for that! Good luck in your future and may the adult children, who happen to still live in the neighbor's house, be blessed with a better life than what environment they were raised in and thrown into.