Monday, September 28, 2015

A**Hole N*******s (read the blog for the word, don't hate and DON'T ASSume!)

I know the title was probably misread, it's A**Hole Neighbors for those of you wondering if I'm just another racist in the world spewing his hate. Well, sad to tell you, I'm not. I'm the most tolerable person in the world and keep a lot of my opinions to myself (I'm lying here). My opinions matter and when it comes to my next door neighbors I'm not hesitant to tell you that they are the biggest assholes ever, okay, there are neighbors that display much worse character than my neighbors, but just to vent I like to be slightly melodramatic. 

My neighbor's are very melodramatic, there's that word again. They have been from day one that we moved in. They've never controlled what their kids have done, never set rules down, and have always tried to one up anything we've had going on in our own backyard, quite literally. We moved into the house in the spring and with that we were situating all of our yard decor. Part of that decor was a yard swing that my dad had built. We cherish heirlooms and are all sentimental about keeping things that someone spent a lot of hours and some money to build and were proud of our swing. Did we go out to the swing and talk to it? No. Did we invite several of our friends or family members to come over and look at said swing? Hell NO. But a week later, we hear our neighbors swearing at a swing in the back of their pick up truck and finally positioning it in the corner of their yard. We then proceed to hear traffic pulling up to their house and a party around the yard swing ensued. "Do you see our swing?" "Do you like our swing?" It went on and on for at least an hour or until their house guests left the yard because they were sick of seeing the swing.

After several years and incidents, they bought an older trailer because we came into the neighborhood with one, we bought another, bigger travel trailer and then they upgraded. We put up fences to keep their out of control children out of the yard. The man-Dad of their house called me an asshole, and I pointed my finger at his face and walked up to him calling him the same. Our relationship has since been quiet and non-confrontational. Anyone who tries to run their mouth to my big ass, has some big balls, even though I'm the gentlest of giants, at least that's what's been said, I'm an intimidating creature of stature. My neighbors are assholes because they never set rules for their children and below I will list what happens to those children when they become adults.

  1. When left unattended, children who don't follow rules, discover how to have sex in the house.
  2. Children who don't follow rules, talk back and swear at their parents out of disrespect.
  3. Children who don't follow rules, who become adults, learn a lot from their parent's and that is how to be more respectful to the neighbor's who raised their children to learn respect and what rules are.
  4. Children who have never been accountable or refuse accountability turn out to be, well, I better not finish that line.
My neighbors are assholes, yes, but I will say through the years, the neighbors being assholes has paid off. They can now say that they are the youngest grandparents on the block. They can also say that when their twenty something year old gets pissed off, he calls the man of the household, the DAD of the household, an asshole. And I will say that as adults the two children who have grown up have learned that life is hard when you've never been made to follow rules, and the only lesson ever learned was how to respect adults, because in the real world, in the daily grind you need to know respect in order to survive. One thing did come out of asshole-ism from next door, and it was the fact that I'm finally, after umpteen years in this house, respected by the adult children of the household, thank you for that! Good luck in your future and may the adult children, who happen to still live in the neighbor's house, be blessed with a better life than what environment they were raised in and thrown into.

Sunday, August 9, 2015

SAFE PLACE? Most Modern Parents are A**HOLES!

     I recently listened to a friend talk about one of her teenagers “voluntarily” missing. We like to look at it as running away, but the nice way to put it is a voluntary absence from the home. I guess it makes it seem a little less dysfunctional. Anyway, said friend, explained that she was in contact with a local connection, someone whose child had gone to school with her teen. This parent got in touch with many other students’ parents and made contact with someone with information about the teenager. The connection wasn’t at liberty to discuss where the child was because the parent who “knew” (who was harboring the teen) didn’t want the whole side of the story and said that they would speak to law enforcement if necessary. The connection did state, and a couple of times at that, that the teen was in a “safe place.”

     To my friend a “safe place” is a place that has structure, rules, and with competent adults who don’t just take a child’s side of a story without hearing both sides. To me and my friend a “safe place” has enough sense to contact law enforcement to get the whole story and to explain the child's/teens safety. Am I wrong? These things were not done. I think the place harboring the child should be convicted for harboring said teen even if everyone likes to kiss ass and say politically correct things like, “he’s in a safe place,” to appease the child not getting his own way, and condone the misappropriation of said teens false entitlement. Anyone connected to where the child is should have had the balls and the common “adult” sense to get the whole story not the Cliff’s Notes version. What the hell has this world come to?

     Come to find out, so I don’t get my underwear in a bunch, the child showed up to my friend’s house at two in the morning, demanding to be let in. My friend let the child stay outside in the rain, while she and her husband contacted the police. The teen had a rude awakening and was spoken to by the police, who were competent adults and was put into his place. Now how is the place he was residing for THREE days a safe place? Can someone please wake me up from this weird reality and punch me in the face to throw me a line from this nightmare? Because I sure the f*** don’t know what this shit heap world has come to. And you, who harbored my friend’s child, I honestly hope that your children turn out to amount to nothing in life, for you not doing the right thing, and teaching them a little integrity. Thanks a lot dip-shit!

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Mr. Nabor -"King A**wipe"

       Mr. Nabor, please shut your mouth! While you clean out your “man cave”, full of NASCAR shit, and your slow inefficient sports car, “because it was the last model made of that brand..”, you tenaciously cut your grass to the point that I can hear the grass screaming, “stop cutting me,” and you’re just an obnoxious boisterous idiot that has contributed nothing to the world we live in. You irritate me like pepper spray or mace sprayed directly into my eyeballs. Because you get your leaf blower out and blow all the helicopters out of your lawn, you wash your cars and travel trailer until the paint comes off, and you live in a two bedroom house, with a small room in the attic, doesn’t mean you can call anyone what I heard you shouting. You remember, don’t you, Mr. Nabor? Your face was red, that vein on the top of your forehead was pulsating like a night crawler. Your two adult children and small grandchild were nestled in the small house playing video games, as you yelled at your wife about how ridiculous it was that someone put the lawnmower in your “man cave”. I was appalled, not that I take offense to any of your ignorance, because over the years you’ve been crowned in our household as “King A**wipe”, the crowned jewel of all ignoramus’ in the world. You took the cake the other day, when you were verbally abusing your wife, swearing at your youngest adult child, as he crept from the depths of his video game to join the chaos and disorder, and virtually calling him faggot. You are offensive, but the name you shouted for the world to hear, was the name that describes you most. You shouted it with a furl of anger on your face, and the worm on your forehead was about to climax and burst, as you tossed the garbage cans around, furling them like the Incredible Hulk, you screamed, “White Trailer Trash.” Mr. Nabor, I believe, since I couldn’t quite see you through the shrubbery that blocks you from me, or even know who you were directing the verbal abuse towards, I can only assume you must have been looking in a mirror and pointing the finger at YOU!

Thursday, May 14, 2015

An A**HOLE generation...coming up in the rear!

     There is a tired deflated generation in the midst, they've existed for some time now, but since I’m getting old, crabby, and blunt, it needs to be ranted about. The generation is a weak one, the “trophy” generation, where everyone deserves a trophy so the next guy’s feelings aren’t hurt. They’re self-deluded and think that entitlement is a given and not earned. They don’t need tangible things anymore, everything’s digital and at face value. They believe in a society that should be able to get things at a bottom dollar cost without sacrifice and hard work to pay the price something’s actually worth. The generation has been labeled, but I’m withholding it for now, because I’ve annoyed enough people ranting about this in face to face conversation (apologies to my wife and friends).
     This group needs to start pulling their heads out of ass. I’m tired of listening to them whine, and ask for more, while they give their children the unsoiled shirts off their back by spoon feeding them. This generation is the root of a lot of my angst. Okay, there is that rare, and I’m being generous here, one third, of this generation that knows hard work, diligence, and who know what tangibility, accountability, and life is, but it’s a rare breed within the cancerous mass contributes to the overall label. This generation has been dubbed generation “Y” or the Millennials.   

     The title has a ring to it, every generation points fingers at the next in line and I’ve waited a very long time in life to be able to do it, so I’m doing it now, I've earned it. The Millennials need to stop being incubates for those they are bringing into the world. They need to step it up in life, take the spoons out of the mouths of babes and pull their pants up where they belong. They need to realize that life is tangible, as is music, books, entertainment and it doesn't come from the tree of the blue nowhere on socially engineered and manipulative web sites, corporate America or that electronic glow that has them all mesmerized and preoccupied. Come on generation “WHY” bother, show us what you’re made of, hand over the trophies that you and all your other classmates didn’t really deserve, and make someone proud, because you've been blindly deluded all these years that you've forgotten what the world is made of. Figure it out and prove that this generation is worthy of making it in this world. Thanks for reading, if you're the one third of your kind that actually takes the time.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Machete, PLEASE????

     I think society as a whole needs to start teaching our youth what life from the palm of our hand looks like. We should be handing our children a cell phone at a younger age than six, challenge ourselves to get on board that consumer train by the time the child turns two. Wouldn't that be better? We are already in a world of "likes", becoming a "watcher" which are two words that are equivalent to drooling, or living vicariously. In comparison,  two year old babies have most of those skills mastered, because they already drool on themselves and speak incoherently, we need to give them technology now, because most adults can't type without auto correction or speak in full comprehensible sentences, or live without staring at that electronic glow. Have two year old babies become the adults of the future or has evolution reversed? I like to think the latter and we've all become a rabid species who continue to foam at the mouth, become addicted to the ease of connection and don't take what is offered in the essence of life seriously. Machete, please, bullets for my gun will eventually run out during the apocalypse, my blade can always be sharpened with a stone. Come back soon...

Monday, March 30, 2015

*ASSWORD Please!

     Hey, it’s me again; it looks as if though this blog was made for me. Did everyone get the memo yet? YOU, the parent, have control over your homes internet, imagine that. I suppose those of you who have given up trying to stay current with technology, other than  the likes of your smart phone, are scratching your heads in wonder or stupor, right? I’ll answer that, RIGHT! I’m going to give you another lesson on the 21st century, you are in CONTROL, it’s very easy to keep that control, and it’s called a secured network or simply put, PASSWORD. Everyone knows what password means, if not, I suggest turning off your computer or device in use for reading this blog, and smashing it on the ground, get rid of it, destruction of something so simple may just give you the part of the brain back that has gone missing. Everyone’s internet connection has a password.

     Children, they are not privileged to gain knowledge of a password, or have the entitlement to know it, no one on this green earth of the big Blue Nowhere has that entitlement but, and it always boils down to this, the person(s) or ADULTS paying the bill. The next time your child doesn't want to do homework, do chores, doesn't want to take a shower, clean their ears, etc., etc., take the damn internet away, that they should be moderated on anyway. Change the password, and if you don’t know how, find someone who does, there's always that person in the family that can easily change it or reset it for you. If the youngsters think they need 21st century electronica, they should earn it, nothing in this world if free, NOTHING! Now start empowering yourselves, parents of all ages, do it fast, and do it NOW!

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Seymour A**hole's Debut

This is a blog that will probably piss you off, that’s good, because in the end, it just may wake you up! Read some valid points below and give me some damn feedback, because isn’t that what all important people want, feedback. Just read!
·         Get off your phone, stupid, it’s ridiculous.
·         Read a blog or e-book: from a laptop, computer, or an e-reader, not your three-five inch phone screen. You’ll look smarter.
·         Make your kid grow up and become an adult before giving in to the desire for a phone, but if you’ve gotten off your damn phone to begin with, your kid wouldn’t want one. Their unknowingly emulating mom, dad and all the other useless peers that shove it in their face.
·         Your kid doesn’t pay the phone bill, they’re not consumers, hell most of them don’t even want jobs, and they don’t need a utility or need to add to the household bills. If you want to throw your money away, donate it to me, Seymour, after all, this blog is doing nothing for my reputation because it’s like sandpaper to most of the thin kiwi skinned parents out there.
·         Teach your kid how to stare at the wall once in a while, and think, stare at a page in a book that he or she can hold in their hands. Hell, learn Algebra and teach them a thing or two if they haven’t learned it in school.
·         Texting is great, between adults, your kid should learn how to read and write full English sentences on a QWERTY keyboard, quill, or Papermate, not use their thumbs to finger a small screen to death, all while drooling and grinning stupidly.

That’s all for now, come back for more when I feel like giving you more Seymour A**hole's guide to EVERYTHING. Bye-Bye!